Dr. Goodheart's
Flirting Hints for Dating Success
Surefire tips
to help you score those coveted 'brownie points' with your lady
So,
"You Want a Cookie?"
~When it comes to making women happy, more often than not, men
are at an utter loss for rhyme or reason how to do so. It seems almost
incessantly one hears men remark such things as "women are just so
confusing," "I can never figure out what she wants," or "why can't
she just be happy," and lastly, "I just wish I knew what I could do
to please her." Well men, you're in luck. Truth be told women really
AREN'T, I repeat A-R-E N-O-T that hard to please.
More often that not the reason women are upset is simply because
of our own lack of confidence in the relationship, whether or not
its us fearing that you are just not as interested as before (which
we assume in an over paranoid state that interprets your less than
enthusiastic interest in phone conversations and wandering eyes as
bored and looking for an out), or us feeling that perhaps you could
stand to give us a little more attention, really all us women want
is a man to be loyal and to love being loyal.
Though anthems like "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" and "Material
Girl" blare loud and clear over Neiman Marcus's jewelry aisles, really
when it comes to making a woman happy you can stop well short of pricey
rocks and score big with these simple but sweet gestures that say
"I care" with effortlessness panache.
No, not everyday. But every once in a while when she's either having
one of those overwhelmingly unlucky days with too much to do and too
little time to do it, or if she's looking forward to a nice day off
and suddenly finds herself pinched to make free time between the unexpected
arrival of a few chores, or whether you just want to be thoughtful
and visually show her you care, you can do so by simply offering to
take her laundry to the dry-cleaners, or getting her oil changed,
or dropping off the videos at the store, or picking up those necessities
at the grocery mart (which you probably assist in the consumption
of anyways). |
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Chances are, if its tedious for her then its tedious
for you - and the fact that you are willing to autonomously switch
the 'tediousness' of the chore from her to yourself shows first and
foremost that you care. It also suggests, however, that you are ready
to take an active role in assisting her in a time of need, and thereby
shows that you do care about her feelings, her life, and all
those other "little" things that men are so often accused of letting
go unnoticed in the relationship. So go ahead, play maid for a day
and see what you're cleaning up her room gets you in return! |
SURPRISE, SURPRISE
So often guys fall into the trap of thinking that they need a special
occasion (i.e. birthday, anniversary, etc) to plan a special date.
That said, its often on those dates that men will predictably plan
the same thing: a nice expensive dinner, maybe a movie, some flowers,
chocolate...sound familiar? Truth is you don't need an upcoming anniversary
to inspire you to show you care. Be impulsive, be spontaneous and
when and if you feel like surprising your woman with a special something,in
the words of Nike, "just do it." You can always spring
a last minute "special" dinner reservation on an unsuspecting
woman and generally find it warmly received.
Likewise, if you know she has a favorite athletic team you can try
to score tickets in advance for a big upcoming game- yeah, bunk deal
for all those ESPN buffs, right?- or if she really likes a particular
band or artist (note: your opinion doesn't matter here) coming
into town and you know you can afford to spring for last minute tickets,
surprise her with an out of the blue splurge that shows you really
do love her and more importantly, you think about her, her needs,her
feelings, and her wants, even when she's not around.
BONUS: Planning something special in advance is like a double-edged
sword, but in a good way. First you have the appearance of seeming
spontaneous by just springing the surprise on her, and, spontaneity
is generally perceived as a strong element to help hold the excitement
and passion of a relationship in tact. Secondly, once she realizes
that you actually planned out the event and took time to acquire the
reservations, tickets, whatever, you will gain the reputation of being
a thoughtful, consideration, calculating partner and it opens up
the floodgates for her to trust you and deem you responsible and thoughtful.
always a good thing for those of you taking the relationship seriously.
This is one of those sure-fire moves that never fails to get you instant
"Boyfriend of the Year" status.
CONVINCING CAT CALLS
Sure not every woman appreciates being howled at by crowds of lewd
men with jaws dropped, eyes bugged, etc. etc. But that doesn't mean
that once a woman settles down she doesn't want to still feel sexy
and know that IF she were to walk down the street in her "saturday
night's best" she would still receive the attention, unwarranted
or otherwise. So, the next time she gets all gussied up to go out
with you, be it to the movies, the club, dinner, wherever, if she's
looking particularly sexy, tell her.
BONUS: Most women don't feel very sexy when they're not all
dolled-up. It's a simple fact of our Cover-Girl lives that makeup
physically transforms the female psyche from shy girl into diva within a few strokes of powder and some mascara. So the next time
you catch your woman looking particularly radiant when she's au' natural,
tell her how beautiful she is. You don't need to give her a diatribe
on the uselessness of hiding her beauty with makeup, etc.; simply
compliment her on how breathtaking she is at a random, unlikely moment,
and your likely to have one hot mama all over you with hugs and kisses
and a dozen other ways she'll want to say, "thank you for noticing."
A FEW of HER FAVORITE THINGS
Men, you may think you're being suave by trying to impress women
with the big holiday gifts that rack up the dollar signs to say "I
love you this much." but more often than not women know what a big
chore it is for you to actually decide on the gift:
"For my boyfriend, shopping is like the
encroachment of WWII. I know it seems like a ludicrous analogy, but
its true. Whenever the holidays approach he physically breaks out
in cold sweats, get nervous, jittery, he can't focus, etc. etc. It's
as if every TV commercial, every printed ad, every little Santa bell
ringing is a silent form of torture slowly mocking him for being an
inept male lacking the proper 'shopping genetics'" -Sarah, Dayton,
OH. |
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But because women know how hard it is for most men to pick out the
perfect gift, it puts you at all the more of an advantage when you
present her with a random little something for no reason. Giving your
woman a small token simply because, or better yet, because "it made
me think of you" shows her how much you care and resonates all the
deeper because she knows how terrified you are of the malls. If
she knows you were actually baring the claustrophobic consumer madness because of her, it will definitely shoot you to the top of
the "Boyfriend Hall of Fame" in a matter of seconds
after she opens the simple bag with panties, or a picture frame, or
some small other trinket that suggests sentimental thoughtfulness. |
FACE the FAMILY
If you two live close to her 'rents and she has an indisputably close
relationship with them, there's no better way to prove your loyalty
and affection than by strapping on the armor and heading into the
war zone..."first introductions" don't count (remember,
we're talking above par, not necessary engagements).
A guy can show he really cares by hanging out with his partner's
parents AFTER you've already survived the "meet the parents"
battle. If she wants to drive up to see the family dog or have
dinner with the parents, etc., to score brownie points you should
"happily", however feigned, oblige.
BONUS: If you really feel like making an impression, or for
a surefire way to get out of the doghouse, don't wait for her to suggest
the family visit. Instead, be the first to initiate the idea.
You're willingness to jump into the battle zone, which most conscious
women are well aware of, will be an immediate signal to your woman
how much you really care about your relationship and more importantly,
her parents' opinions about the relationship.
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