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Dr. Goodheart's Flirting Hints for Dating Success

New Year's Resolutions: Help Them Make A Difference

It's that time again: time to start thinking about what particular goals you want to set for yourself for the New Year. Will it be to shed those extra five pounds, walk your dog nightly, go to the gym at least three times a week, have sex at spontaneous moments in unpredictable places? Whether it's organizing your closet, writing that novel you've always dreamed about, or just passing your classes, New Year offers people an opportunity to get back on track by prioritizing life in order of what's most important. Regarding the dating world, there are a couple things you can do throughout the year to keep your social card full and your love life hot. Below are a few manageable resolutions that are not only easy to follow, but can better your health and physique as well: intimacy and a better sense of self—the perfect resolution for 2008.

  • Dine out less, eat in more: Studies show the more people cook at home, the healthier and smaller their meals tend to be. When cooking homemade gourmet meals, you're in control of the amount of fats and salts that go into your dishes, and you can upgrade to those fancy ingredients like extra virgin olive oil, which is better for you in the long run. Additionally, as people who routinely cook at home spend far less money in the long run than they do when dining out, your piggy bank will thank you. Last bonus feature: intimate one-on-one time can be spent cooking together in the kitchen. Turn cooking into a night-long date, even if you're married. Pop open a bottle of wine, pick a tasty but manageable recipe, and let the good times roll!
  • More sex, more often, less questions: It's no surprise the busier our lives get the less sex we have. Women I know routinely joke about "scheduling" sex sessions into their hectic routine. But all that pressure to have sex can actually dampen the intimacy, rendering the experience moot and robotic. The first way to lose the fire is to mechanize sex and put it on par with things like dentist appointments. If you have to make time for something like sex, you have to reevaluate your love life and your commitments to your partner. This year, focus on surprising your partner with spontaneous sex moments; you'll be surprised just how willing your partner will be, and how much happier and healthier your relationship will feel once sex makes its way back into your normal, albeit steamy routine.
  • Weekend wind-downs: Schedule a weekend getaway to your favorite B&B, campsite, hotel, winery, whatever your flavor. Plan on doing absolutely nothing but R&R. Giving yourself time to reconnect with your partner without the added stress of sightseeing and expensive, time-filled vacations will allow you both to break from the chaos of the week without feeling like there's all this rushing around and pressure for the weekend ahead. Quick weekend getaways with zero expectations, except to have fun, are the best way to recharge your batteries, and your love life. Besides investing, a weekend getaway is the next best thing to securing your happy, memorable life together.

  • Me time is a must: As important as it is to spend quality one on one time together, it's equally important that both of you schedule exclusive solo time. Allow yourself to partake in your favorite hobby, get back into bike riding, take a day trip to your favorite day spa, go to your favorite sports event or participate in the Friday night happy hour, without your partner accompanying you. Just as you live life to please your partner, you also live life to please yourself. A loving, supportive partner knows when to remind their significant other to take time for themselves, even if it means a guys weekend with you staying home alone on the couch. Think of these mini single vacations as moments to get back in check with yourself and your goals. While they're having fun, you're reflecting on your life plan; next weekend, they return the favor. Not only will it help build the trust between you two, it will keep things fresh and exciting, helping you to look forward to time spent together and staying more appreciative of all those little things you do for each other that sometimes go unnoticed when you are around each other 24/7.
  • Clear out the clutter: Don't wait until spring to de-clutter your house. From broken and chipped dinnerware, to dated knickknacks (note: if you draw a blank on its sentimental value, it's no longer sentimental and needs to be disposed of), to those sad rags for clothes hiding in the back of your closet (all trend items no longer trendy can also be parted with), take time to clear out what you no longer use or need and donate it to your local charity. Not only will you breathe second life into your items for families in need, you'll get a tax write off for your good deed. As an added bonus, the newly freshened space will have a new aura to it, creating an overall cleaner, calmer, more sanctimonious vibe that will keep your spirits high until your official spring cleaning date. Your partner will thank you for it and may even pitch in as well. Afterwards, treat yourselves to a trip to the ice cream parlor followed by a good soak for two in a hot bubble bath.
  • Get involved: It's funny to think how many weekends we sit at home wondering what to do, and end up doing absolutely nothing. This year, in addition to all those fun weekend getaways and solo soirees, you can also liven up your Friday-Sunday routine by getting involved with your local community, donating your time to charitable organizations like Big Brother Big Sister, Habitat for Humanity, Save the Earth, etc. Not only are you helping make your community a better place to live, and improving lives in the process, you're setting new milestones for your relationship. Helping build a foundation of integrity, commitment, and a dedication that make your relationship more meaningful makes it all the more healthy and stable.