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Dr. Goodheart's Flirting Hints
Flirting Index * Dr. Goodheart's Index
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Dr. Goodheart's Flirting Hints for Dating Success

Feelin' Good!~
Improve Your Most Important Flirting Weapon... Self Confidence!

~ That's right ladies! All the flirting tips in the world are in vain if you haven't self-confidence. Who's actually going to believe you're sexy if not even you believe it? Who's going to buy your suave one-liner if the whole time you're delivering it you're afraid of making a fool of yourself? If you think you're transparent or wanting confidence, chances are its true. All the same, these 5 fool-proof tips are an easy way to revamp your perception of your self-image so that you don't merely like what you see in the mirror, you love it! And no guy likes a woman better than one who knows their sexy!

1) Concede to the Majority Vote:

Whether or not your single or taken chances are if you have a significant other, a date, male family member, or friend, you have probably heard more than once how beautiful your smile is, how bright your eyes are, or how you have great legs, lips, etc. Though humility may have been a primary ingredient in your genetic code, your modest deflections of those incessant references to your key assets are actually damaging to your self image. Scientific tests have proven that perceptions can be easily skewed and that the relationship between what you see and what you think is so integrally connected to a majority opinion that, though you might incessantly reject all compliments now, in time if you concede to the random flattery you can actually altar your self perception and begin to feel and look more sexy. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so start beholdin'!

Tip: Listen to the majority opinion: if everyone says you have beautiful eyes, then you have beautiful eyes! Just remember not to fish for compliments and let them come as they will. When they do come gracefully accept them with a thank you and allow that warm and fuzzy feeling inside to overtake the little 'doubting Thomas' in your head. You're already on your way to becoming the sexy Diva you already subconsciously know you are!

2) Work that Body:

Take your body language to a whole other level- one can instantly revamp their self image by taking psychical advantage of their sex appeal. Not only does how we act and move on the outside affect other's opinions of ourselves, it affects our own self perception (remember tip #1) ! Have you ever noticed how those starlets grace the red carpets in their slinky numbers, strutting from one side to the next to pose for the multitude of cameras with their megawatt smiles and poised figures ? Sure they have had an arsenal of pre-show help from their enlisted beauty brigade but all the same, when it's show time, it's show time. Their smiles, their posture, their stride, all reflect confident sex appeal. So the next time you're all dolled up and ready to go somewhere, act! If you act like you know you're the sexiest woman in the room, you'll feel like the sexiest woman in the room, and confident sex appeal is among the most powerful of aphrodisiacs! What's important to remember is that you don't always have to get gussied up to feel sexy, simply move and act like you are and you'll be as striking as that diva on the red carpet in her Versace gown.

3) Beauty Does Not Equal Perfection:

What exactly is perfection anyways ? Though Hollywood incessantly insists that rail thin lanky women are the 'it' women of beauty, one should take a second and step back and rethink their stereotypical perception of a 'beauty'. Just as often as these lanky beanpoles are praised for their stunning looks on the red carpet or in their latest ad campaign, film, or music video, so too are they quickly the source of negative commentary in the gossips columns that rebuke their less than perfect sweat suit getup that they comfortably get around town in prior to their big night. When the spotlights are off even the most 'perfect' of them all like to let their hair down, their skin breathe, and their figures fill out, even if just slightly.

That said, almost all guys will consistently remark that curves are always preferred and moreover, a real man will always find his woman's comfy sweat suits to be sexy. Many men constantly remark that they love a woman who is confident enough and comfortable enough to allow herself to 'relax' and look 'low key' in his presence. That doesn't mean of course that men don't appreciate your occasional effort to spruce up, its just to say that, on most days, men prefer you simply as you are: all bare faced, casually dressed, and ready to tackle the world... and him!

The more relaxed and at ease you look the more likely he will take it as a positive sign that you are confident with both yourself and your potential relationship. So don't be afraid to leave on the sweats once in a while and surprise him with a lazy day in bed and some chicken noodle soup. I guarantee he'll think you're perfect just as you are!

"If you act like you know you're the sexiest woman in the room, you'll feel like the sexiest woman in the room, and confidence in sex appeal is among the most powerful of aphrodisiacs!"

4) Novel Indulgences:

Every once in awhile a woman needs a little 'pick-me-up' to get her back on track on the self-esteem locomotive. What better way to perk up your self image with those 'little luxuries' such as a random (i.e. not incessant) pedicure or manicure; heck, why not splurge and do both!, or a 15 minute massage, a tasty treat from an ice cream shop (splurge honey, none of that fat free sugar free crap; this is a self treat, not a diet), or a quick shopping trip for some sexy new lingerie or panties, or that 'essential' top that you've been admiring for weeks?

Tip: Occasional splurges for your body and wardrobe will not only instantly improve your self image, think endorphins, but overtime, in conjunction with all the other guilt-free treats, mini splurges can improve the overall long lasting effects of a pampered and beloved self image. Just remember, you don't want to turn into a shop-a-holic and ruin the novelty of occasional self splurges; keep it at a minimum and this trick will always retain its maximum self-confidence boosting novelty!

5) Let Go in Love:

One of the most nerve-wracking things about getting intimate with somebody is the fear that you will expose all your 'faulty zones' and suddenly reveal yourself to be the "less than perfect woman", the "anti-dream girl". Relax. Breathe. Refer back to tip #3: beauty does not equal perfection. Remember when you finally do decide to get intimate with Mr. Right he's only looking for Mrs., or Miss Right, not Mrs. Perfect. He will be expecting some minor flaws, which he will coincidentally think of as trademarks; they are part of what makes you special and unique. More importantly, a real man will love you and admire you for baring all and giving him the opportunity to appreciate those 'faulty' areas of your body as much as the rest.

Tip: When he moves too close to the 'cottage cheese thighs' or heads to your 'flabby arms' try to relax and remember he will love you for you and make you feel like the sexiest woman of all! Who knows he might even go so far as to make your faulty zones suddenly feel like an undiscovered erogenous zone- suddenly you may find yourself loving all of you, even the parts you don't care to look at. So the next time you're getting intimate, lose yourself in the pleasure of his touches and affection and suddenly you'll feel like Cleopatra seducing Marc Antony on your Egyptian cotton sheets; a bed, and a lover fit for a queen like yourself!

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