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LOVE OR LUST ? HOW TO FLIRT ACCORDINGLY:
... from the DATING KING

A list of guidelines for men looking to advance the potential relationship. While there's always a chance that you will eventually stumble upon "the one", more often than not you've encountered 'the right now'. That said, pending your feelings about your prospect, you must flirt accordingly. It is vital to send the right signals as a way to both,

a) generate the correct response and
b) protect your motives from slander later on.

If you're intentions are more, let's see where this goes than, this is the person I'm going to marry, then there is an entirely different set of rules one must play by. The following is a list of guidelines for potential situations and how to flirt pending you're in love, or lust.

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ASKING HER OUT:

If you've suddenly fallen head over heels its better to call days in advance. It demonstrates you're well-planned intentions, and shows your eager anticipation. Generally you should maintain an extremely cordial tone, be very respectful, and always take her opinion into consideration.

If, however, you are not one hundred percent convinced its love, it would not be deemed inappropriate to call the day before or even the day of and inquire of an opening to meet with you. Note, your lack of extra care will more than likely register with an observant girl.

HOW TO DRESS:

If you really want to make a good first impression then keep class in mind. You don't need to pull out the designer clothing, just take the time to tailor your appearance so look clean, sharp, and gentlemanly. If it's a more casual date and you're still feeling things out between you two, it's okay to dress a bit on the trendy or casual side. Your low-key style will send signals accordingly; whereas slacks say 'serious', casual says 'fun'.

DINING IN:

Again, when going all out think 'over the top'. Women are especially observant to the little details. That said, make most of the meal yourself, and always have a romantic bottle of wine or champagne ready to serve. For even more intimacy, invite your guest to participate in the final dressings of the meal. Remember to keep the meal rich and elaborate; lamb, rosemary chicken, homemade sauces to top starches and vegetables. These types of effort register the importance of your date. If you are just looking for a low-key night-in where you two can enjoy good conversation and some tasty food in the process, feel comfortable providing finger foods and appetizers. That way you two can nibble but keep the focus on the conversation.

DINING OUT:

When you want her to say 'wow' you have to think big, but not as in size. More often the truly romantic restaurants are smaller chains that have intimate booth style seating for two, soft, low lighting (best if candlelit), a good wine selection, and live piano music in the background. Think romance languages like French, Italian, and Spanish; they've developed a reputation for a reason. If, however, it's a first date, or you're still trying to keep things casual, think fun, social, entertaining chains. They are usually filled with other people so that the intimate factor is dulled down and instead, replaced by a more social atmosphere.

PAYING THE BILL:

Either inform your server beforehand to personally deliver the check to yourself at the end of the meal, or discreetly pull the bill after it is dropped if you wish to let your date know that this is the real deal for you. If however, things still aren't solid between you two, there is nothing wrong with offering to split the check. However, if it is a first date you still want to pick up the tab out of respect for your date and your reputation. You never want to be seen as cheap, but if several rounds of dates have played out and you two are more casual than serious, so can your mannerisms be when it comes time to pay the bill.

A TRIP TO THE THEATER:

If you want to show her that you truly respect her opinions, then treat her accordingly. Ask her if she has a movie in mind, or if there is a certain genre she's particularly fond of. Even if it's not your top choice, if the movie is playing, you're seeing it and you're paying. If, however, you two are on a friendlier basis, then there's nothing wrong with offering a suggestion or two. Again, after deciding on the movie, decide on the payment plan. Just as at dinner, the first time the male should generally pick up the tab. But if you two are okay with taking things slowly then allow for her to split or pick up the bill every once in a while, if she offers.

MOVIE RENTALS:

Brownie points are earned when you can impress her by displaying similar interests. It's all about research. If she likes foreign films, find out which one is a definite hit and rent it; even if she's already seen the film, chances are she will like your choice, and be impressed by your 'intuition'. If she likes comedy, high grossing films usually indicate success. Just be as selective with your film choice as you are with your girl. If you're throwing together a last minute date with someone new try to stick to Blockbusters; they're generic and safe, and are usually action packed, which means distraction from bad company if the date heads south.


PARTY HOPPING:

If you're as in love as she is chances are you will definitely notice the extra effort she has taken to get ready for a night out. She wants you to be proud to share her company. Score points by simply complimenting her on how wonderful she looks. Furthermore, don't be afraid to take a protective stance once at the party. Small gestures like leading her through a room with a hand on the small of her back, or holding her hand while entering the house says, 'I'm here to stay'. If you two are new at the dating thing and still in the awkward phase its okay to be a bit more cavalier with the night. Allow for frequent periods of separation where you two can mingle with friends. Also, don't be afraid to let her stand on her own; if she's interested she'll hang around.

PLAYING HOST:

If you decide to throw your own shindig, invite your date and have her arrive prior to the rest of your expected company. Also, take care to avoid inviting Exs; they only make a situation sticky. Rather, make your date feel comfortable beforehand and when people enter introduce her as your significant other. The deep sense of commitment in a social situation will earn extra points in the trust department. If you are just starting things out with someone and you decide to invite her over to a party don't worry too much about who is invited. Things are still low-key between you two and you want to make sure you have plenty of outs if she starts flirting with your best friend. Also, steer away from attaching labels if you need to introduce your date; doing so in the beginning usually leads to major awkwardness later.

GETTING CULTURED:

If you want to impress your date by going somewhere special like the museum or Opera, try to make sure you get the best seats you can afford. While at the museum pick out a few pieces of art you're particularly fond of and generate sincere discussions. Whatever you do, when you want her to know you care, you need to make it visible you've put in the extra effort. If you aren't looking to wow her just yet, but still want to continue enjoying her company, try to go to more local, hip museums and art shows. They are generally more crowded and contain a much more social environment as opposed to the intimate setting of an Opera or ballet.

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