~ ~Are you an ego basher, or an ego booster? Do
you shower your man with compliments, or do you knock him down every
chance you get, even if you're attempting (in a perverse way) to
motivate your man towards change for the better? Are you proud of
your man, and let him know it, or are you constantly nagging at
him to hit the gym and lose those 5 extra pounds? If you think you're
tending towards the latter you may want to consider avoiding these
fatal blows before you no longer have a man around to crush (however
well intentioned your ego bashing may be).
EGO BLOW 1: Public Pillow
Talk The last thing a guy usually wants is for you to
bring up bedroom secrets at the dinner table, especially not when
it implies his lack of stellar performances or other sexual mishaps
as a source for comedic conversation. Guys take their intimate performances
seriously, very seriously. If you happen to slip, however minor, that
we were less than perfect on any given day, we're going to be crushed
and on the permanent defensive from there on out.
"I dated this girl who thought that whenever she got
a few drinks in her she had leeway to discuss our private moments.
Though I was flattered when she bragged, I was absolutely humiliated
after she noted to friends that I have a hard time getting it up after
a few drinks or a long day at work. That stuff is private, and her
making it public knowledge for a few good laughs at my expense was
completely debilitating, and the last straw." ~Seth, 32
EGO BLOW 2: Mommy Dearest
Most men absolutely hate it when their girlfriends resort
to spitting on napkins and cleaning off their faces after a meal.
The same applies for the slicking our hair back with spit, or water-sprayed
combs. Men want to feel like, well, men, and not some little boy who
needs his mother around 24-7 to look after him.
"This one time I went out with this chick and she had
the audacity to lick her fingers and slick back my cowlick in public.
First of all I was grossed out and totally humiliated. Then I was
totally annoyed. I have a mom, and you're not it. The last thing I
want to do is draw a parallel between the woman I'm dating and my
mother. " ~Dave, 24
EGO BLOW 3: Speak for Yourself
Men pride themselves on being able to take care of themselves
and making the right decisions in life, including all those trivial
ones like choosing our meals, or stating our opinions about paint
swatches, etc. Nothing is more annoying than when a woman cuts in
and speaks on our behalf (which is usually wrong anyways). We have
our own opinions and we are free and wanting to voice them ourselves,
thank you very much.
"I was absolutely shocked when this chick began talking
to her girlfriend about my political beliefs while I was standing
right there. In the first place she was way off. Secondly, hello!
I'm standing right here, I can hear you; yes, you're wrong; and yes,
I would love to speak for myself!" -Tristan, 29
"I once dated this girl who would have a seizure, literally,
if I came out of the bedroom dressed in anything besides designer
clothing. What's worse, if it wasn't exactly color coordinated with
her outfits she would make me go and change or she'd pout the rest
of the night. Not only did she make me feel like I was five, she made
me feel like I was dating a five year old who loved to throw temper
tantrums." ~Gus, 23.
EGO BLOW 5: Fatal Flashbacks
Sure, you've had boyfriends before. We don't expect
to be your first romantic interlude and you shouldn't expect the same
of us. All the same, we don't want to hear (no matter how politely
and patiently we endure the commentary) incessant remarks regarding
your ex. We don't want to hear about your perfect Mr. Ex.if he's so
perfect then why isn't he with you right now? We're not opposed to
being sympathetic about past casualties but we do get offended (and
always will) when we know we're being measured up against old flames.
"This one chick I dated for awhile seemed perfect.until
one day everything that came out of her mouth from that day on was
all about her ex. Mr. X did so and so, and Mr. X did such and such.
After a while I couldn't stand it anymore. I felt totally inadequate.
Basically I felt like a substitute for the ex. I thought she was merely
tolerating me rather than appreciating me for who I was. Needless
to say, things didn't work out." ~Jerry, 35
~Though some of these ego-blows may seem apparently
innocent at first, testimonies reveal that these five no-no's really
dig a little deeper than the average girl may think. So to avoid all
fatal ego-blow casualties just put on your perceptive caps and remember
to treat us with the dignity and respect you expect in return.